Dear Freddie

I notice your email is private and not visible to the Audience. That is very sensible. My question is, will what we say remain private, or will you pass this on to other third parties? It’s a horrible thing to say, but I do not trust you to keep what I say private. However, one thing I will say is make sure you are squeaky clean.

Mum and David are two elderly people who choose to stay in their own home as they have the RIGHT to do so,

Totally Agree

They are safe, well, and cared for without being institutionalised.

I think the jury is out on that one. I know you are going to think I am an out-and-out racist for saying this, and if you do, there is nothing I can do about it. You are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine. In my opinion, people of their particular race are fairly bullish in their personalities. The reason for this (more so in the case of Cecilia) could be that she comes from a war-torn country, and if she had spent a few moments being a shrinking violet, she would not of survivied what she had been through in her life. So full respect to Cecilia, I find her a very manipulative lady, but once again, she has probably had to be. The fact that she called me “A Loser” the day you decided to attempt to put me in my place in front of her over out of date milk that I was prepared to replace out of my own pocket , was a little like me calling her a Golly Wog.

Now that is a Rascist term and a completely horrible one. However, I was called a Loser by both David and Victoria many, many times, hence it is a trigger word. Thus, for me personally, it has the same effect as me using the gollywog term. The fact that neither David nor Victoria has really been that successful and done what they wanted to do really redirects the loser word at them. Ones a failed builder, the other is a failed school teacher.

Meanwhile, back at the original point I am trying to make there is a very thin line between being bullish and abusive. I have checked on the Caremark website how much training these third-world immigrants are given before they are placed in homes looking after our most vulnerable people. According to the website, there in the job after 2 weeks of training; however, good old Cecilia told me it was a month. Still not long enough. I also asked Cecilia about police checks and so on, she told me full police checks are carried out, and I believe her. What I did not ask her was, what if you come from a family of Drug Dealers, you might be clean, but your family is not. I’ll be totally honest here, I am a little bit more qualified on that front than either you or the other ones are. That’s not racist, that’s a fact. Most people who are dealing in drugs are from a different country, because if white people do so, they normally end up getting stabbed.

You may now be asking what the hell this has got to do with our mother and stepfather’s care. Well, when that sort of money is being paid a week to “Caremark” As a close family member I have every right to question these things. Not only have I got every right, I have got every legal right and you all know I fuckin well have that.

Also whilst we are about, do not ever ever have a go at me in front of others ever again. Especially not in front of the carers, if you have something to say, say it in private.

How lucky they are?

I seriously do not think they are very lucky at all. I do not suppose anyone really looks foeward to ending their days with dementia or shitting themselves in diapers, being barely able to speak or walk. However, I do believe David has bought alot of it on himself. If he had not spent his life being an arseole and looked after his body i doubt it would of come to this.

The cost of being in residential care – the only alternative given their respective needs – is double the cost and may not allow them to be together nor in their familiar environment.

Well, Victoria mentioned before any potential move to council-funded residential care.

Where the hell that has come from, I have no idea.

I get the residential care, but I do not get where the council-funded bit comes from.

There’s a house there worth very close to a million pounds.

Has someone done something with the house that we do not know about?

Like it or not, that’s what they both want and this should be respected for as long as it possibly lasts.

This is where you and I clash. I really do not need to be told that by you, it’s really going down doggy territory I honestly believe you do not want to go there.

David has made quite a number of complaints about Ceilia’s cooking

They try their best to guide him by meal planning but ultimately its his choice. I have no concerns about their carers and believe them to be kind, caring people.

There are several subjective inaccuracies and pointed accusations in this email. You are entitled to your views but much of them seem to concern past upsets that happened so many years ago. Let go, you will be happier. 

Your comments about people from the global majority are racist. I abhor racism and your comments sadden and disappoint me.

Was it your intention to copy David Hornblow in? Why do you do this? This is so stressful for all concerned.

We are all doing our best in a very difficult situation. Please continue making soup and bringing fresh milk and fresh food – that’s helpful but this rhetoric is not.

Donna