The Day’s of his Lives Scene 163

I wailed in terror at her plans for me. It’s true I had always wanted to be a girl, but nothing like this. I had always wanted the nice looking guys to notice me, to appreciate my good looks. I had fantasized in high school that I could entice the star quarterback from his girlfriends and make him mine if I had only been allowed to dress as I pleased. Later on, I had enjoyed making myself up and dressing in the sexiest women’s clothes I could find. But this, this wasn’t what I had envisioned for myself! This wasn’t the allure of women I had sought to capture for myself, this wasn’t sexiness. This was a loss, a passivity, an abandonment of sexuality.