The next morning I woke up early, but without a clock in the room, I had no idea how early. I hid from reality beneath the duvet, trying and failing to pretend that none of this was happening. After what I guessed was an hour, maybe two, I heard my grandmother’s footsteps, followed by the sound of the key turning in the lock. She opened the door and asked, “And how are you this morning?”
“Ashamed, belittled, humiliated.” I thought as I looked up at her, but didn’t reply. I just stared at her with pleading eyes. Slung over her shoulder was a curious pink bag.
She must have noticed me looking at it as she said “It’s nice isn’t it.” as she slid her arm out of the two straps and placed it on the end of the bed. I said nothing. She grabbed hold of the duvet and said “Come on lazy bones… lets get you out of bed.” she said in an altogether too chirpy tone as she pulled the duvet off me. She asked me if I’d managed to stay dry. I nodded and stuck my lip out that little bit more. “Good boy.” she smiled, before telling me to take my over-knickers and nightie off, “…then I’ll do your nappy.” she said with a smile, clearly enjoying every second of my humiliation. I was keen to get out of it, so did exactly as I was told. As I stood up and removed my nightie and over knickers, I realised that the pink bag wasn’t a bag at all. She unfolded it and laid it over the mattress… it was a changing mat… ‘my’ changing mat!
I looked at it fearfully. The plastic lining had pictures of princesses all over it. Granny patted it and said “Don’t be shy…. it won’t bite you.”
I approached it fearfully and slowly, but eventually found myself laying on it’s cold plasticised surface. Again I focused on the ceiling or closed my eyes as tight as I could as my grandmother first slipped my legs out of the plastic pants, then unfastened my nappy. “Someone’s been having nice dreams.” she said as she pulled it from under me. “Now what do you say?”
“Thanks Granny.” I gulped as I sat myself up. Having a nappy removed seemed more shameful than having it fitted. Thank heaven it was dry… ish. Naked and humbled, I glanced at my dress that hung from the picture rail. My grandmother glanced at it too, and told me that I needed to have a shower before getting dressed. She looked down at my nappy that lay on the changing mat, “…and you need to wash your nappy too.” she said.
“Don’t they just get thrown away?” I gulped.
“No.” she replied. “It’s a reusable one, so when you use it, you wash it.”